visitors to buzz about

As I drove down my long driveway,

I could see these dotting our property.

They came in many colors and make such a racket.
But these bee's are here for a very special purpose!
!
!
!
V
And these are our first almond blooms of the season
Just a few here and there, but with this weeks
sunny forecast, I imagine they'll be popping up
all over the place.
I have one very special fruit tree that has
5 different fruits grafted into one tree.
This should be a sight when in full bloom!

Right now there are only 2 different blooms open...this one...

...and this one

This visitor wasn't very welcome : (

But this one is here to stay!

dining in

This is an 'Anthurium'

plant that I purchased at this

fabulous little place. I think most

would call it a "hole in the wall"

a secret around this part of

Northern California.

It sits here on my dining room table

waiting for the perfect pot to be planted

in. One of the things that I promised myself

after we recently moved was that I would be

patient about making any purchases and not feel

rushed about decorating this house. We purged

ourselves of the things that had no real value

to us. I had the biggest load to get rid of. (call

me a pack rat...or rather a pack elephant)

This house feels sparse right now, but I

feel good about this decision. So, my

eyes are wide open for a vessel.

We will be dining here for Valentines Day

and plan to share it with new friends. I imagine

there will be candle light, crystal and sparkling cider.

A few stories shared here and there with a lot of laughter.
With funds being a little tight, creativity is in order

and making that day special by sharing it with

friends makes my heart very happy.

What are you planning to do?

every farm needs one...

this chubby puppy

came home with the hubs

on Saturday afternoon

he is a boxer lab

and very feisty

now i have to rename

our resident owl

because the hubs stole

her name

Zeus

and gave it to

the chubby puppy

whom i call "stinky"

because boy did he reek

and it took two baths

to get rid of that stench

his fur is very beautiful

white blond and fuzzy

rather wrinkly and too big

just like he was wearing

his daddy's coat

be bounces and bites

with his newly sharp teeth

and i know 2 chihuahua's

that don't like him very much

so how can I explain

that he doesn't mean to be rough

he's just a wee baby

that weighs

4 times as much

as you do!

boing

boing

thud!

lupus 101

This is a picture my daughter Angela took of herself yesterday with her cell phone. Then off it went to me because she knows that it will brighten my day no matter what else is going on. Yesterday I went to the hospital from the flare I had been suffering from for the last few days. I was a mess by the time my hubs wheeled me in. It has been 6 months since my last really bad episode, the lighter ones I can handle on my own.

Lupus behaves differently in everyone. After living 15 years with it, I still haven't figured out what triggers flares. Attacks are very random and can occure at any time of the day or night. I am often asked what happens to me during a flare, so I thought I would share the progression that takes place with you:

I start to feel really tired and worn out
a slight burning sensation begins in all of my joints
my skin becomes sensitive to the touch
my muscles begin to twitch and cramp with pain
electrical shocks race through my body
headache and nausea begin
my chest feels heavy and breathing becomes labored
pain increases around my bones

Then symptoms take it up a notch or two and I have been known to briefly pass out. All of this started up around Tuesday afternoon and by Thursday morning I cried, "Uncle" and the hubs took me in for a shot. We use the hospital pain level number system (severity of pain being at 1, 2, 3, -->10) to communicate where I am at in the flare. The shot slows most of this down and then I quietly rest through the remainder until all symptoms are under control. Like I stated earlier, the less intense flares I can handle on my own.

You may know someone with lupus and I am here if they need information, or just an ear to listen. Feel free to share any information that helps to combat pain, or any helpful keys to living with a chronic disease.

everything but...

Lupus has had the best of me this week. My health matched the gloomy weather, so being sick didn't feel quite as bad. However, it is sunny outside today so I ventured into the outdoors. I made it as far as my feet would take me and settled down on a big rock. I saw many different things but forgot my camera. That is why you are getting a picture of my kitchen sink. On the wall is a metal carving of an almond branch in full bloom that is so beautiful...every day starts here.

Today I saw...

~Mushrooms growing in the ground that were the size of my foot! I picked one whole from the ground to examine it and they smelled so earthy.

~2 Red Tail Hawks that were soaring right above me. I made sure my little 4 pound dog stayed nearby. I didn't want her to be an afternoon snack.

~A gopher skull on the ground at the bottom of our owl box. Zeus must have had a late night snack. Gophers...yes, doggies...no!

~Moss growing everywhere! Tons of rain and zero sun has all sorts of moss growing all over the place. It's beautiful and temporary with our hot summers.

~Almond buds just covering our branches. I am so looking forward to spring and the sweet smell of the trees bursting with flowers.

~Chickadees taking afternoon baths in the still puddles. I didn't move a muscle for this ritual that is so endearing. They did it in pairs *sigh*

That's about it. I couldn't stay too long because the wind picked up fast and I was feeling chilled. But these few things were better than TV, better than the book I am currently reading and much better than how achy I am feeling today.

1 one thousand

This week comes to a close and the sun is setting after the first few storms of the season. California burns all summer and then we flood in the winter. The other times of the year are a happy medium. These storms were filled with a lot of lightning and thunder. When the lightning strikes we hold our breath and count, "1 one thousand, 2 one thousand, 3 one thousand, 4..." thunder rumbles and that number tells us how many miles away the storm is.

I did this with my children as they were growing up and because I didn't know any better, we knelt down in front of a big low window, waiting for the sky to light up so the eerie counting could begin. The closer the storm got, the more scared we were and the bigger our eyes would get. When the thunder BOOMed at the number 1 we all screamed with delight and squeezed our clasped hands tighter. Little did my children know that I was terrified inside about the entire process.

As a child, getting close to the number 1 meant diving under the covers for protection. I don't know why, but thunder storms always scared me to pieces...they still do. I caught myself shaking in my boots a time or two this week. Out here in the country, there are no street lights to detract from the lightning bolts glory. The intensity was so clear and bright.

The rain drenched ground combined with the strong force of wind caused our neighbor, Farmer B, to loose 1 very large 30 year old almond tree. We didn't loose any trees...something for us to be grateful about and for next weeks storms...a whole new reason to dive under the covers.

about fruits and nuts

Did you know that an almond tree has been grafted from a peach tree? I know...I was surprised to and I don't know all the details concerning it, but I do have this picture from our orchard. I came upon this by accident from taking a different route. Right away I remembered the grafting information and it is very obvious here. Peach tree in the center, almond tree for the rest of its life.

and then I thought...

I guess we all start out kind of fruity and end up a little nuts :)

the wisdom box...

Yes mom, this ones for you. I have lived over half my life satisfied to scrunch toilet paper when I needed to blow. Most of the time I sniff in a lot so it never gets close to the surface, or I have been known to grab a very soft clean rag if it got serious enough.

And yes, I did notice that you would bring your own box of Kleenex from home whenever you spent the night over mine. At first sight, I always felt a little embarrassed that I didn't know any better and I was being a rude host, but you were so matter of fact about it I never put that information in the "I've got to remember this" file.

Now that I'm older, I can't seem to keep up with my own nose anymore. I don't seem to be able to sniff in hard enough and the bathroom is too far away and the rags are even farther. So, in honor of you Mom...I bought a box of Kleenex and I want you to know that I understand your wisdom about needing them stashed all over the house.

Happy Birthday :)

door story

I shared my door dilemma story with my girlfriend Wanda in a recent email, so I thought I'd also share it here with you. Now, let me preface this with saying that when my husband and I imagined ourselves in our forever home in the country, in no way did we dream that it would be as nice as this. There are fixtures in this house that I literally would have trembled to purchase because they are so extravagant and expensive. I'm still waking up to pinches :) This is my front door (an older picture taken when Barney still lived here) and I just love it! I love to look at it. I love the entryway. I love to walk up to answer the door. I love the huge fat porch and I love the view that I see...

...when I open the door. Notice how long the driveway travels from the street and circles around to stop at the front door? (and the Spring landscaping job I have yet to do?) *singing* "Luuuv it!"

And when the door glides open, your eyes automatically gaze upward to feast on this obnoxious chandelier...(I'm giggling) However, can you believe that with 3 holidays under our belts and loads of spontaneous visitors, I have actually only formally opened my front door 2 times??? That's because everyone drives around...

...to this door. The driveway also circles around the front to the side of the house where the garage is. And guess what this door opens to? My. Laundry. Room. How neat is your laundry room on a regular basis? Well, mine is usually a disaster, a throw all space, where the dead plants end up and my many shoes get kicked off...

...not anymore :)

barney the movie star

Meet Barney...quite a handsome fellow. He is an "A" class farm dog. We baby sat, uh...dog sat Barney for the first few weeks of owning our new residence. You see, the previous tenant of the farm moved 2 miles away and had nothing set up for Barney, so he asked us if we could let Barney stay until he was ready for him and we said, "no problem!"

Now, Barney had lived here for quite some time and had established some local friends, his closest friend being, a large feral grey cat I called Elvis. (because he looked just like Elvis, not the singer, boho boys cat Elvis) These two buddies were really really close. I witnessed dog/cat behavior I had never seen before. They snuggled, greeted each other with kisses and slept together. Barney being much bigger, Elvis rolled up in a big ball right up on top of his back. Oh, how I wish I had taken a picture of that! Elvis wasn't very people friendly and scat at the sight of me.

Sadly, Barney's owner returned for him and off he went in the back of the truck wagging his tail. My next walk was Barneyless and quite lonely, although I must say that my 2 Chihuahuas were very happy and gladly had me back all to themselves again. However...Elvis threw a fit! For days she/he paced back and forth meowing loudly. Have you ever heard a cat complain? This behavior went on for days and days, until one random morning...

Barney was back!!! All by himself, he traveled away from his current home back to the residence of his youth. He greeted us with big wags, a little whining and lots of kisses. He then waited patiently perched on our back porch.

Do you believe in those Disney animated movies about our furry creature friends?

Well, I do now...Elvis showed up, saw Barney, soundly cussed him out and then they snuggled all day long and followed each other everywhere. How many days was Barney going to stay? His owner was on vacation and wouldn't be back for some time? Food and water were put outside and the next morning...

both of them were gone and I haven't seen either one since.

Now, did Barney come all this way just to say hi and visit old stomping grounds? I think not. He decided that he could not live without his best buddy in the whole world and they both hoofed it back to Barney's new home...

...to a freshly made dog house with a banner that read, "Welcome home Elvis"

V..V + ^..^ = 4 ever :)

helping hands

We had the pleasure of family visiting us last weekend. With one very big strong boyfriend and one teensie tough little daughter, we found plenty for them to do, here on the farm. What guy wouldn't want to drive this big toy?! Our main tractor has the rake attached to the front of it. My husband was giving Jon lessons in maneuvering it around the almond tree rows because we had brush that needed to be scooped up and thrown onto the burn pile. We had previously spent the week before doing some extensive pruning and all those branches get put into neat little rows. Jon was very excited and looked like a pro in no time.

No rest for the weary...when that was done Angela and Jon prepared to pound the mummies (leftover clinging almonds) off the trees. This little red cutie is our mule and makes traveling around 18 acres much easier. As you can see...they are both putting on their game faces. (poor trees)

Actually, they are seldom serious and enjoyed the fresh air muscle using work. Jon would smack the base of the tree with one hard "whack" and then Angela hit off the left overs (called polling). They got every single tree done...good job guys! :)

This picture was taken from so far away because I am behind the camera and warm & cozy in my house.

I don't mind pruning. I don't mind stacking brush in neat little rows. And I love driving the mule...but I refuse to be around when the trees are being whacked. Certain parts of farming make me wince...I am still exploring why I feel this way. I spend a lot of time walking these rows and the trees and I really like each other. Call me a tree hugger if you will...because I'm not going to deny that I haven't hugged one or two...or more ;)

ocean treasures 2010

Looking at this picture one might think I was vacationing by the sea...taking a walk with my linen lined basket, my eyes searching left to right, ready to pluck just the right treasure. But actually, I'm still here on the farm. Let me explain...

This is one of many gates we have scattered here throughout the orchards. At the base of each one are the remnants from gushing waters. We flood the land and since all water touches Earth's oceans in one way or the other, we end up with little mini shores at the base of each gate. I think it's remarkable and in a strange way helps me feel connected to my boho family who lives way down at the other end of California.

Happy New Year :)
No resolutions for me, just gratitude...realizing that God chose this place for me to spend the rest of my life is humbling and exciting. This is much more than I deserve and in my life dreams I never imagined being in a place like this.

The Peace here is abundant...

the she owl named Zeus

After living on the farm for one month, a visitor arrived. She is our returning barn owl named Zeus (the one who rules the night). Soon I will snap a picture of her. Rarely seen during the day, her appearances have only been at night. She comes here every winter to lay her eggs and nest for a few months. Later, a clutch of about 3-6 eggs will hatch and I've been told are very noisy when the evening meal is desired. The nestlings will be fed by their parents for 40-54 days and then the fledglings begin to hone their hunting skills. It is rare that all fledglings survive. One or two make it through the entire process. I am really excited about Zeus' arrival and hope to see her Tyto mate also.

I find small patches of wild mushrooms while walking through the orchard. I have a vivid imagination and think they look like miniature villages for our local wee gnomes. They too, come out at night when most humans are safely tucked asleep in their beds...

Please tell me that Owls don't feast on gnomes! Eeeek

Mark...still our Christmas miracle

This is a picture of Mark and his sister Angela at Thanksgiving. Many of you remember the car accident that Mark was in December of 2006. Every year around this time I like to give an update about him.

Mark had another surgery this year to repair some of the weak tissue around his midsection. They added more mesh to his front and side. The surgeon also pulled muscle around from his back and attached that to his side, which in the end made it all look like he had had some plastic surgery done...such a beautiful job.

More good Marky news...he continued his studies and was chosen for the Respiratory Therapy Program class of 2010. So, that will begin in March and by mid 2011 he will be employed at a near by hospital.

If Mark had never experienced such a dramatic extended stay in the hospital like he did, he may still be wondering what his niche was, but Mark found his destiny through this ordeal.

All things work together for good.
Romans 8:28

come away with me

Come and take a walk with me. It's cold and a little foggy today, but that's okay because we have rain boots, scarves and thick over sized jackets. (we borrow these from the hubby...aka Farmer J) Don't forget to wear your pajama's, this is standard around here :)
Hmmm...where to begin? There are so many rows to start from. Sometimes I just zig & zag here and there. The paths are long, so it's quite a workout.
Even though we have only been here for 3 weeks, I have really come to appreciate the trees and am mesmerized by their different shapes.
Their branches give them a sort of personality and their thick trunks such strength. They twist and reach...it's beautiful and poetic to me.
This 5 acre parcel is already 25 years old. They will need to be pulled in a couple of years. Baby tree's will be replanted here and the whole idea breaks my heart. Almond trees stop producing as they age and when you're a farmer...well, out with the old, in with the new. Luckily, we also have 10 acres that are only 15 years old and 3 more of 4 year old. In the meantime, let's just admire these while we can.
Almonds that are left on the tree after harvest and begin to dry up are called "Mummies" I am learning so much living here.
Even the weeds that grow in the rows are beautiful.
And don't get me started about the many varieties of moss and fungi...stunning!
We have doggie pals that always walk with us. Baxter stays near by, his ferocious presence is very protective ;)
And then there's Ellie, my little explorer who suddenly has no fear and wanders far and wide. She runs everywhere and I can tell that she is loving our new lifestyle.
Okay...our time is up, I'm pooped and shed my boots in the mud room. I really enjoyed the fresh air and feel invigorated, but most of all I enjoyed the company...thanks to each one of you :)

a long road to a fresh start...

The last time I posted was in July...why you may ask?

Sickness took it's toll
I have moved
literally moved to a new city
let me explain:

I had one of the worst summers (health wise) in years. The Lupus flared something terrible and I was very sick for weeks. I was bed ridden sick, unable to go anywhere and visitors were non-existing. Thank God for family and I have a great one. Little do they know how wonderful they are and how important they are to my perseverance. I get regular calls from my husband, children, mom, daddy...and my sisters are fabulous. Most of you know my baby sister Denise, aka boho girl. I must take time out to love on her.

*tears* She lights up my life with "daily" text messages, pictures and video snippets of her and baby Cedar. This takes time to keep up with and I am positive that it's not always easy, or convenient. But her faithfulness to keep me connected is boundless and loving. I am her big sister and have often received crisis calls from her and offered my advice. She gives me big thanks and always makes me feel like what I say causes epiphanies, but I know the truth, that my words are very ordinary and safe. But what she does for me? ...is literally life saving. I can't count the moments of teeth grinding pain, only to hear the beep of a phone blessing from her. Instead of wanting to say, "I can't take this anymore" I end up smiling or laughing out loud and always realize there is so many more important things out there than what I am experiencing. I can't thank her enough...I couldn't love her anymore, or retun what she does for me. Other family members love on me too...I am so cared for by them all. Love you all xxx

The picture above is my new residence. We had our eye on this 18.5 acre farm for the last 10 months. The price slowly crept low enough for us to make an offer and Bam! We were suddenly selling our house, packing up 48 years of "stuff" and moving to paradise. We are now almond ranchers along with regular full time jobs. (well...my job is keeping healthy, J has the added responsibilities ;) I am surrounded by fresh air, trees, birds and other flora and fauna that is just breathtaking.

So, I'm feeling settled enough to get back to journaling along with other adventures. I may have new surrounding, but I'm the same gypsy girl that has a little spring back in her step and some mud on her new farmer boots.

It feels good to want to be back :)

pillow (case) talk

I remember being very young when I learned to use an iron. Later on in life, I made an extra income ironing my neighbors work clothes. I charged 25 cents per item...that was a long time ago. House chores in general are not my favorite thing to do. My mom likes to wash dishes by hand. She finds the warm soapy water relaxing. My daughter enjoys folding clothes hot from the dryer. Me? I forgot that certain chores can bring pleasure to the senses. I think being chronically ill turned everything into such a well planned out task, that I couldn't remember how to enjoy work.

While changing out the beds one day, I caught a whiff of the clean sheets, still warm from drying. I buried my face in them and took a deep long breath. Old memories flooded my mind. The hot steaming iron pressing out the wrinkles of pillow cases. Cotton has a smell all its own when being ironed. Many generations of women know that smell very well. It is ancient and fresh, simple and pure. How could I have forgotten?

That was a couple of months ago and I am now ironing out my pillow cases again. I actually look forward to it, like a treat, I turn the iron on to the highest temperature and press each case. I change my own pillow cases often and now when I snap them open they are covered in perfectly square pressed sections, somehow still holding onto that steam iron smell. When those creases begin to fade, it's time to put them in the dirty hamper.

I still don't like house chores...let mom wash all the dishes and sissy can do all the laundry she wants, but the pillow cases are mine.

pickin

A view from down below
Happy Angela
The fruits of our labor
Every year about this time we get to pick cherries from our good friend Pete's farm. At first, more end up in our mouths than in our bags. As you stand near the trunk, you look up into a canopy of jewels, every cluster ripe and sun kissed. It is easy to get carried away because each one looks more delicious than the next and there are three different varieties. We move along from one tree to the next, the heat and dust being all part of the experience. Later, back at home, they get washed and placed into a basket. This always looks like a beautiful piece of art sitting on my counter top. The tummy aches we get that day aren't always welcome, but are well worth the price of this tradition.

rain dance

the lightening cracked, the thunder roared and rain suddenly poured from the sun streaked sky. i bolted off the couch and ran into my backyard, i wanted to feel it on my skin and hair, my face turned skyward and my mouth automatically opened. i stood there with arms open wide blinking away soft eyelash drops. inside i felt thirsty, this surprise storm being just what i needed in that seized moment. i calmly walked around observing how sacred rain effects each thing in the yard, my thin cotton nightgown being the perfect attire for this dance. again lightening lit up the sky along with the immediate crack and boom of thunder. the storm was passing directly over me and the rain quickened with this demand. in the middle of my lawn i turned in circles, smiling upward in thanksgiving and laughed at the sight of me. in this childlike moment i realized how safe my existence has become and that i need spontaneous rain dances to occur in all the area's of my life.