I'm Bloomin Crazy!

After a slight reprieve from the rain and wind, my visiting daughter Angela and I went for a beautiful walk in the almond orchard. The sweet air filled our lungs and the wonder filled our eyes. This is now a precious childhood memory for her and appreciated home to me. Right now, nothing could be more splendid than this moment.

falling

Never in my life have I seen such big rain drops...
Never! So, I took a nap just like the old man.

the wish your heart makes

i dream of seeing the ocean from my bedroom window
i dream of throwing a rock that will get swallowed by the sea
i dream of screaming words that can be drowned out by the sound of waves
I dream of taking walks and seeing footprints left behind
i dream of rinsing my feet before entering the house
I dream of a landscape that can be heard
I dream of smelling salt and stinky sea life
I dream of hunting treasures with a sharp eye
i dream of being where I belong
by the sea

I am spiritually connected to the ocean. I know this because I just feel right when I am near it. I dream of it constantly. If I am stressed out, I have nightmares that include flooding waters, or the ground disintegrating beneath my feet. When I am happy, my dreams are filled with calm steady waters. When I can't sleep, listening to a prerecorded loop of crashing waves does the trick. But, my life is well established here, almost 3 hours away from the sea. My husband, whom I dearly love, dreams of trees... rows and rows of them. Trees with nuts. Nuts instead of sand, he loves the valley, I love the coast. We adore this close knit community, but oh...the expanse of the ocean! How can this be, to have this deep love affair with such a distant sea?

a constant state of mind

dreaming is a good daytime habit...





















and more so when wearing your favorite necklace

just help yourself...

and
Dive Right in...

a really happy valentine's day

I think I've done more in the last couple of months, than in the last 10 years. Little things here and there...slow walks, outings with friends, being a hostess and treasured bible studies with very dear ladies. I am planning a few trips and looking forward to the love that I know will make them special.

A Really Happy Valentine's Day to You...

clumsy?..."yes"

I am the wrong person to be living in a tri-level home.
I have one flight of stairs that are 10 steps high.
10 very narrow steep steps...in my opinion.
While carrying a basket of laundry, on one journey down,
my feet voluntarily slipped out from under me.
I tumbled flopped and crunched right down on my right ankle.
I heard this little "pop" that in turn matched a strange tug.
And my ankle turned into a giant purple grapefruit right before my eyes.

And "yes" I cried a little, pounded the floor with my fist,
said, "crap!" and then crawled to the nearest phone.
"Yes" I immediately applied ice and swiftly elevated it above my heart.
And, "yes" I went to the doctor's and had an x-ray
that told me it was not broken, but could not explain the "pop!"
I am supposed to stay off my feet, keeping my foot elevated,
while the sun is shinning outside.

For a full 2 weeks I had been power walking
and doing quite well, I might add.
My new medicine has been doing wonders and so was I,
...until this :(
I am angry at those stairs and myself for being clumsy
because now I am back on this couch feeling like
all my hard earned energy is going to waste
...boo

tethered to life and some good health

Yes, I have been tethered to life and learning how to cope with some new added energy and strength. I quickly scanned back to see if I have told you all about this new medication I have been on for the last two months named LYRICA, and I couldn't find any references to it, so regardless of all the negative side effects I have read here and there over the Internet, I am having some great successes with taking it.

I began the slow gradual introduction around last thanksgiving and I must say that it has worked wonders for me. It's been a challenge as to what to do with the gift of energy that I now enjoy in the afternoons. Enrolling into a woman's bible study was my first choice. I have greatly missed that fellowship. Exercising is now a routine with some serious walking accompanied by my puppies. Don't let their size fool you, they give me a run for my money, especially walking them both at the same time.

I am planning a couple of trips; San Francisco in February and San Diego in March, to visit with my baby sister Denise, Carsten and baby Cedar. I am thrilled with great anticipation for them both. Family noticing the newness of health I am experiencing will be wonderful. Maybe even a little of the old me is back, or should I say, the new and improved.

I encourage anyone who had suffered from Lupus, Fibromyalgia or Chronic Fatigue Syndrome to talk to their primary care physicians about prescription Lyrica. It is not an anti-depression medicine, which often seems to be the "go to" drug for these debilitating autoimmune disorders. What have we got to loose...or should I say gain :)

No, it is not a cure, but the difference it is making in my life is astounding. Pass this information on and feel free to send any loved ones my email address for any questions or concerns.


My very own live in Cheerleaders!...too cute!
Miss Ellie Mae and the one and only Baxter Binx

no reservations ~ no resolutions

I don't generally make resolutions
the time lines
being put into a box, such
reminders that you aren't in sync with the plan.

I rather make w i d e ~ s w e e p i n g
declarations something like,
"in 2008, I'm going to become gluten free."
and slowly over a years time, I am gluten free :)
I made it happen, it was very hard, but I did it.

The key...
"a very realistic expectation"
I gave myself an entire year to make one change.
This year, I'm making a new w i d e ~ s w e e p i n g declaration.
"in 2009, I'm going to swim as much as I can."
No, I don't have a pool, or current access to a warmly heated one
that is covered from the sun,
but that doesn't discourage me. I feel very strongly
that this is what I am supposed to do.
He will make it happen, I have no doubt.

***The key to my drastic food change was simple...it was not a diet, it was just me loving me through nutrition.
The same will be with the swimming...I will not be exorcising, I will be moving around, in warm caressing water and loving it.

So, I guess what I am saying is that I kept it simple. Broke it down into an ~action~ that will more deeply love on me.

and in turn...I simply happen to find more love in others through the process.

I hope you find some delight today :)

hello 2009

I know this was a cheep way to celebrate...but after Christmas, I'm broke :)

Christmas fun!

Merry Merry Christmas

we love to wrap...

...we love big fat beautiful ribbons
...we love curling ribbon
...and Christmas music
...with egg nog
we wrap and wrap and wrap
until we don't love it anymore
and our creativity starts to wane
and the presents all begin to look the same
so we stop
and walk away
until it all
begins again

Merry Christmas

the Christmas card revealed

This little Christmas Garden Faerie is here to say,
"Merry Christmas to you"

and 80 of them are arriving now
to friends and family
everywhere all over
this globe.

handmade love

My favorite thing about Christmas is unpacking the memories that come with all the handmade treasures. I have many because my great grandma's were crafty and added to my collection each year. In grade school, my children were lucky to have artsy teachers and they came home with some masterpieces. Now as adults, they still see their ornaments hanging on our tree. Nothing I could purchase can compare to the beauty and love I feel for all of my handmade goodies

"WaSup Mark?"

A few people have asked about Mark, so I thought I'd give you an update. His unfortunate car accident happened on December 19th 2006, I chronicled the events, an experience we will never forget. I can't believe it happened only 2 years ago. Looking at him today, no one would know he had been in such danger. It is only when you spend time with him that you begin to understand the accidents full effects.

Mark lives on Imodium, lots and lots of Imodium. Very slowly his intestines have been making adjustments, but they will never quite operate normally. His right foot is still without a tendon and needs constant therapy. He has a very large scar that runs down his front and around to his back, a harsh reminder of the serious damage...but I have to say, that the biggest change in Mark was the vision he had of himself.

Yes, near death experiences will do that to you and he rose from that bed a changed man. Mark knows that God saved his life and that there is a specific reason for it. He aggressively wants to help people. He is going to college to become a Respiratory Therapist and often finds that he is the one doing the teaching. His professors often ask him to conduct the labs, or have him organize and then teach the class experiments. He is so meticulous and has found his place in the medical field. All of those medical terms that fly right over our heads...well, Mark now eats them for breakfast and finds the human body, his body, is the most amazing complex miraculous thing. He beams BEAMS when he talks about it. He remembers everything and wants so badly to make a positive difference in the lives of others.

I could go on and on...be the gushing mom that I am, but the most important lesson that we all learned, is that there is a cherishable community in this big world of ours. Especially, in a time of need.

a labor of love

Every year I hand make my Christmas cards, it has been such a long tradition of mine that I don't know when it started. I also make them for my husbands employees, so all in all it amounts to about 80 in total. This is just a peek, I don't want to spoil the surprise for my loved ones. I will post an entire one later. I guess you too will have to wait :) It is both a pleasure and a pain to design these cards and make each one. Christmas just wouldn't be the same without them, sort of like special recipes and presents. Such anticipation...

So you are not
bored with seeing
just one corner
of a Christmas card...
here is a picture
of a monster
slaying a dragon ;)

the President's dog

Rumor has it that President Elect Obama and his family have decided to get a Golden Doodle for the family dog. It just so happens that my mom and dad have one of their own, Callie Lu. Half golden retriever and the other half poodle gives you a shed proof allergy free canine. She is very friendly and great with kids.

Baby Boho Cedar was an interesting test, as we haven't had babies around for a long time. Callie needed to sniff him out and she was very gentle about it. From that point on, she became Cedar's protector and was acutely aware of every sound and movement he made. His crying was obviously distressing to Callie and she constantly needed to check the baby when he was near.

It amazes me that dogs know when a human being is helpless and fragile. Instinct kicks in and they make themselves responsible as a guardian. We all love Callie Lu and it warmed our hearts to see her accept and love our newest family member.

I love you Cedar and I too will protect you and be your guardian...auntie d

love at first sight

there was a bounty of love to take in for such a little baby boy
I couldn't stop smiling at this little miracle
he is seriously cute and has a wise spirit about him
every day he looked a little different
completely irresistible
comfortable with everyone...especially grandma
and this is classic Cedar sleeping position

***After spending such precious time with everyone, I learned a very deep and spiritual lesson about adoption and the entire process. Because Denise is my baby sister, I felt protective of her and wanted a positive experience. Being ignorant about adoption, I felt concerned with the bonding process and kept a keen eye on any undercurrents. Then we all experienced an extremely poignant moment together, it went kind of like this...

At around 10pm the tired couple handed the baby over to us for some quality sleeping time. Cedar was wide awake and alert to his surroundings. He did the usual newborn routine, burped, pooped and let us know when he was hungry. About an hour later he began to fuss and that quickly turned into obvious unhappiness. My mom and I passed him back and forth, both of us using our own tried and true methods of motherhood, on how to stop a baby from crying. To no avail, Cedar continued to cry and dug in his heels...he was stubbornly angry now and this adorable little boy began to Wail! Bright red faced screaming, with stiffened arms and legs! Completely frustrated I said,
"Mom, I think he wants his mommy!"
and she reluctantly, but swiftly, woke the couple. Boho boy entered the room first. Obviously half asleep, he gently took the screaming child and tried to calm him. Denise then entered the room and she too was dishevelled and deeply exhausted.
Denise reached out to Cedar and said,
"Come here... it's okay"
...and an instant hush filled the room. As soon as Cedar heard his Momma's voice and felt her soft familiar shoulder, he silenced with peace. We all stood there with our mouths dropped open.

In any other situation, this may not have been quite so special a moment, but there was no longer any question that all Cedar wanted was his Momma and Denise was that person. She also felt the awe of the moment and tears misted over her eyes. My baby sister, this woman rocking that bundle back and forth, with a timeless instinct, was every bit a Momma and I will never see her more deserving, as I did in that moment.